I love the voices, the thought patterns, the routine rumination. I finally am willing to concede to the idea that it’s not in my best interest. It makes me less competent. Sobriety keeps me sharp, untwisted. One keeps me lifted and the other allows me to relax deeply. There’s a time and a place for everything, so why not moderate? It’s an obvious solution and my lack of ability to achieve it as a goal has been obvious for a couple of years now.